I Love You, Bro
“The beauty of genuine brotherhood and peace is more precious than diamonds or silver or gold.”
In a time where we need it the most, we still don’t say “I love you” enough. Why is that? If you haven’t been living under a rock, then you’re probably up to date with the general debauchery of 2020. Civil rest finally came to a head this month as we have been pushed WAY past our limits here. Too many known and unknown murders have happened, with little to no repercussions to show for them. My condolences go out to the friends and families of: Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Tony McDade and the many other victims from the senseless acts of violence and mistreatment towards black people.
As if COVID-19 wasn’t enough, it seems that racism and bigotry continue to be the driving forces of death and despair for black people. In a time where there is literally nothing else to do than be with your loved ones, we still have to deal with police officers and racists attacking and killing us. If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s to expect the unexpected. You really never know what will happen. This year is all kinds of messed up and I vote we just skip to 2021. We need a fresh start.
I’ve said this before that 2020 was a great time to start checking up on your loved ones and ensuring the sanity and safety of one another. But in light of recent events, I feel obligated to explicitly address an issue that really doesn’t sit well with me: black men saying (or not saying) “I love you” to the men in their lives that they consider a loved one (brother, best friend, father, etc.). Thankfully, we have come a long way from previous generations, but somehow this is still an issue in 2020.
With everything going on in today’s world, telling our friends and family I love you should be the least of our worries. No, it’s not gay. No, it’s not weird. Yes, it’s normal. Yes, it should be just as easy as when we tell the women we love. And given our current climate, we should WANT to say it even more. People are being beaten by police...while protesting police brutality. Most of our family and friends are protesting in some way, which means that it’s even more possible that they may become a victim of the same ridiculous treatment. You may never have the chance again. And the “invincibility” feeling is killing us. It may not be something that is explicitly said, but everyone at some point has that feeling inside of, “Oh that’s terrible, but that wouldn’t happen to me or anyone I know.” Dangerous game.
“The crazy part is that it doesn’t mean the love isn’t there, because it’s often shown through action. But I just wonder why it isn’t spoken truth as well as demonstrated action.”
Growing up for me, this wasn’t an issue. So maybe I’m biased. I definitely said this to my younger brothers and father. Any time we’d get off the phone or leave each other’s presence, “Love you. Love you, too.” Easy and without question. But I know for many others this isn’t the case. And when I ask my friends why, I was met with, “We just never said it” or “It just wasn’t our thing.” The crazy part is that it doesn’t mean the love isn’t there, because it’s often shown through action. But I just wonder why it isn’t spoken truth as well as demonstrated action. Usually, my motto is what’s understood doesn’t have to be explained. But for this I feel it’s completely necessary. An exception to the rule. It’s time we verbally express ourselves and our emotions. Women have been asking for this long enough, and it’s time to deliver. Now more than ever, love is so imperative to make it through the day.
So I challenge you. Tell your brothers, friend, fathers you love them. Trust me, it’s not that weird. And the more you normalize it, the less your stomach will turn. And if this is already your norm, kudos to you. It’s amazing how positively this can affect one’s psyche and their relationships.
To all my friends and family, feel free to call me out too if you see me not practicing what I preach. I won’t take it personally. Till then, I love you all.
Stay safe. #AllLove
